Title: Caring for Widows (part 1)
Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:3-8
Speaker: Nate Pickowicz
One thing about the Lord that we learn from the Bible is that God is compassionate. He cares for those who cannot care for themselves. And in a spiritual sense, that is all of us.
It's all of us. We read in Ephesians 2.4, but God being rich in mercy because of his great love which he loved us even when we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ, for by grace you have been saved. Because of our spiritual deadness, we are unable to atone for our own sins, and we're therefore in desperate need of the mercy of God to save us.
And he does so by sending his son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come to earth to live a righteous life, a perfect life, and then to offer that life up on the cross as a sacrificial offering. He did for us what we could not do for ourselves. He paid the penalty of death for us and earned the forgiveness of God for our sins.
And that is actually the core of the gospel message, that we are saved by God's grace through faith in Jesus Christ. But God's compassion extends even beyond the spiritual into the physical. He provides for the needs of his people, and furthermore, he teaches his people to provide for the needs of others.
James 1 says that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights. Everything you have in this world that is good comes from God. He provides for our needs, and again, he exhorts us in modeling what he has done for us.
He exhorts us to also care for the needs of others, to exercise compassion. And while all of us are in need of compassion at some point in our life, there are those who are in greater need. Leviticus 19.34 instructs Israel to show love and care for the strangers and the aliens living in their land.
In other words, showing compassion to those who are not like us. In several places in Scripture, God commands care for the fatherless, for the orphan. One touching example of this comes to us in 2 Samuel chapter 9, when David shows compassion to a young man named Mephibosheth, who is disabled and orphaned.
He's the son of David's closest friend, Jonathan. And even though Mephibosheth is also the descendant of Saul, and politically he's a threat to David, David still invites him to dine at his table. But more than that, he cares for him for the rest of his life.
But there is one more group that is frequently in need of care, a group that is often paired with the orphan in the Scriptures, and that is the care of widows. Psalm 146 verse 9 declares that the Lord protects the strangers, he supports the fatherless and the widow. But this is not simply an ancient idea, it is one that is applicable even today.
And so as we consider the love of our Lord in our own lives, let us also consider the tangible example of how we can demonstrate that love to the care of widows. And so if you have your copy of Scripture, turn with me to 1 Timothy chapter 5. 1 Timothy chapter 5 this morning, we're working our way through this first letter to Timothy. We've already covered quite a bit of territory, and there's more to get to.
1 Timothy is one of those letters that just seems to touch on so many different things, where other letters of Paul seem to focus on certain themes, Philippians like joy, Colossians is the exaltation of Christ. But 1 Timothy really is about Christian ministry, and I've actually titled the series True Christian Ministry, and it covers a lot of things, and this is one of those key things. The Apostle Paul, he's writing this letter to his young pastor friend Timothy, he's addressing various groups of people within the church.
In chapter 5, verses 1 and 2, he's zeroing in on the church's general dealings with men and women of every age. But starting in verse 3, he's going to focus his address on one group in particularly, and that is the widows within the church. He's building on this exhortation in the previous verses to appeal to the older women as mothers.
And based on that, in verse 2, Paul launches into his longest discourse in 1 Timothy. He talks more about this topic in this letter than any other topic. And so we're going to look at this together.
We're going to read the whole passage this morning, but we are going to look at this in two parts. We'll just do the first few verses today, and Lord willing, we'll cover the rest of it next week. And so for those of you who are here for this message, you have to come back next week as well.
Let's look at this whole passage together. 1 Timothy 5, verses 3 through 16. The Apostle Paul writes this, honor widows who are widows indeed.
But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents, for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now, she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers day and night. But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives.
Prescribe these things as well so that they may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than 60 years old, having been the wife of one man, having a reputation for good works, and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saint's feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.
But refuse to put younger widows on the list for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married, thus incurring condemnation because they have set aside their previous pledge. At the time, at the same time, they also learn to be idle as they go around from house to house and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies talking about things which are not proper to mention. Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach, for some have already turned aside to follow Satan.
But if any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them, and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed." Now again, I mentioned we're going to divide this passage up into two parts. Today, we're going to look at verses 3 through 8 today, and we'll cover the rest next week. But Paul, he begins by establishing the prevailing sentiment here, and that comes to us in verse 3. This is the theme of the whole passage here, where he tells the church to honor widows who are widows indeed.
Now, generally speaking, this Greek word that is translated widows is keros, which refers to women who've been left without a husband. Now, we generally associate the concept of a widow with those whose husband has died, but there are some ancient uses where this word can refer to a woman whose husband has deserted her, or a woman whose husband has divorced her and left her alone. Now, why is this seemingly a worse situation than for other situations? Because again, there are lots of reasons why a person would be in the situation that they're in, but we know that there's something very unique about this kind of a situation where a woman has been left alone, either through desertion, or if her husband has passed away.
For most of human history, men have been seen as the providers of their families. They work, they earn money, they build homes, they provide and protect, they anchor their family in stability. That is our job, that's our responsibility.
God has designed us and built us that way to do so. Now, that's not to say that women also haven't worked, and haven't tended their own homes, and haven't contributed greatly. We read about just the exhortation in Proverbs 31, a pretty industrious woman, not just home with raising children, but also doing lots to provide for their home.
But when it comes to family sustenance, to sustaining the household on a broader sense, that generally falls to the husband, to the man. And so, when a husband dies, it puts a substantial strain on the wife and on the family. In the ancient world, the death of a husband would put the wife in grave danger, not just only financially, but even physically.
A single woman was easy prey for wicked men. And so, widows, especially older widows, have been regarded for millennia as the more vulnerable members of society. Thankfully, things have changed over the years.
Women, even in our day, in the workforce, have earned pensions, and retirement, and social security, and even have life insurance benefits. But the question arises, when a woman is not the recipient of such things, whose responsibility is it to care for her? And the answer to that is, it depends. The first address that Paul gives here, this very specific class of widow, he says in verse 3, to honor those who are widows indeed.
This phrase, widows indeed, he repeats it. It's here in verse 3. He says it again in verse 5, then he closes the section in verse 16 by talking about this specific class of widows, widows indeed. The RSV translation renders this phrase, real widows.
Others have seen this as being a reference to genuine widows. Well, what is this? These are widows who have been truly left alone. They have not been remarried, and they are not receiving any kind of outside care.
In other words, there is no one to care for them. They are truly widows in every sense. Widows indeed.
And Paul tells Timothy, as well as the whole church here, he's talking to Timothy, but he has the whole church in mind here. He says, okay, believers, it is your responsibility to make sure that you honor such widows. Now, this word for honor in the Greek, the original Greek word is tima.
It refers to a fixing of value, an assigning of value. It can also mean, however, to respect or to revere. In that sense, it's not a financial word.
In that sense, it would be your assigning value, estimation to somebody. Someone's valuable to you in terms of respect and honor. However, biblically and historically, this kind of honor does not simply refer to respect or reverence.
It also refers to material and financial provision. This is the thrust behind the fifth commandment, listed in Exodus 20, verse 12. You know, the 10 commandments.
Number five is this, honor your father and mother. That doesn't just mean respect them, even though you ought to. There's more attached to this.
It also means that you make provision for their well-being. In fact, that was precisely Jesus's judgment against the Pharisees in Mark chapter 7. The Pharisees and the ruling class in Israel had developed this practice that was not taught in the scriptures. This practice was called korban.
Korban would be an appropriation of a large amount of their money that they would deem to be dedicated to the Lord, which could not be used for any other purpose. The problem is that many times that money that they were assigned to be korban was supposed to go to the caring of their aging parents, but by deeming it to be korban, they have now said it's dedicated to God and it can't go to their parents. Of course, they still retained possession of it, and even in some cases they could still make use of the money, but they just didn't let it be for their parents.
And Jesus actually addresses this. I'm just going to read this very short passage to you in Mark 7. Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees and he says to them, you are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.
But I say if a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is korban, that is to say given to God, you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother, thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition, which you have handed down so that you may do such things as that. He's striking at the very heart of this lovelessness to parents who are in need. Again, they were supposed to be honoring their father and mother in a very real way.
They were supposed to be caring for them at a time where they couldn't care for themselves. But instead of doing that, they were finding some kind of a technicality in their law to abdicate sinfully the responsibility to care for their parents. Of course, the Pharisees were also accustomed to robbing widows' houses through robbery and trickery and extortion.
Jesus rebukes them in Matthew 23. The Pharisees, they would go in and they'd find some rich widow who'd lost her husband and they'd say, well, here, sweetheart, we'll take care of you. And they would systematically pilfer everything in her home and her value, her residence, and they would leave her destitute.
This is atrocious, as you can imagine. But the Lord decried this in Exodus chapter 22. Just listen to the word of God from Exodus 22, where the Lord says, you shall not afflict any widow or orphan if you afflict him at all.
And if he does cry out to me, I will surely hear his cry and my anger will be kindled and I will kill you with the sword and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless. In other words, if you afflict widows and you afflict orphans, I will make sure that your family is nothing but widows and orphans. That's heavy, isn't it? Serious, the Lord takes serious the responsibility to make sure that we're caring for those who are in most need of care and not to afflict them, not to hurt them.
You know, they are to be cared for, they are to be honored. Of course, there are conditions to how we honor them. And when we talk about the responsibility of the church at large, again, there are conditions.
I think generally speaking, churches tend to fall into one or two categories. They'll either take the category of, well, they're not our responsibility at all whatsoever, or they'll say, if there's a widow, we have to do absolutely everything. But there is, there are levels to this as taught in scripture.
And I want to make sure that we're very clear about this as we move forward. This is actually going to be helpful for our church as we consider how to love and care for our widows. Again, there are conditions.
The widow's first line of defense from poverty is actually not the church, but her own family. Look at verse four. Again, verse three says, honor widows who are widows indeed.
So the category is widows indeed. Verse four, but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and make some return to their parents, for this is acceptable in the sight of God. So this is a situation here where you have an older widow who has children or even grandchildren.
And if she dies, the Bible says that her family has a moral responsibility, even more a religious duty to take care of her. Paul says that the widow's children ought to learn to practice piety toward her. This phrase practice piety translates the Greek word Eusebia, which we've looked at before in many other verses, but it refers to godliness.
It refers to religious devotion. It's how you practice what you believe in terms of your Christian faith. See, it's very easy to say that you're a Christian, but the question is, well, how do you practice it? How do you live that out? Would anybody look at your life and deem at the end of seeing all of that fruit that you are, in fact, a Christian who believes the word of God, or that you live in contradiction to your beliefs? So the new international version of NIV actually renders this phrase that's talking about caring for a widowed mother or grandmother.
It says that they are putting their religion into practice. I think that's a very apt way to talk about this. That's what we're doing when we take care of those who are our own family members, putting our religion in practice.
Of course, James 1.27 echoes this very same sentiment. James says that pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God is to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. And so that's what a believing family ought to do.
It's more than just an exercise of goodwill. It's actually something that is owed to them. And you might think to yourself, what do you mean owed to them? Well, Paul says here that children are to practice piety in regard to their own family.
And then he says, and to make some return to their parents. This word for return here is apodidomi, which refers to a return or a recompense or even a repayment. A repayment.
It's paying back what has already been paid to you. Now, any good parent doesn't care for their kids in hopes of being paid back someday. That's a tireless pursuit, isn't it? If you kept a record and a log of all the different things that you did for your kids, or one fun exercise dads is to actually tally up how much money these kids have actually cost you, right? And when you get to the end, they get to college, you say, all right, guys, let's start a loan, pay dad back, right? We don't think that way.
Because if we ever did, number one, it would be overwhelming to us. But the bottom line is that, again, no parent worth their salt would ever take such note of how much their children owe them. Well, why not? Well, because we also have to be accountable to our parents for what we owe them, right? And so this is a pay it forward kind of a thing.
You don't take care of your kids in hopes that they're just going to pay you back everything. No, parenting is selfless and is oftentimes thankless. But when an aging parent is in need, their children should certainly recognize that there is an obligation to return at least some kind of kindness back to them, because they have cared for them so selflessly over the years.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself, well, what about if I have a parent who didn't love me the way that I would hope that they loved me? The bottom line is, if you had a parent who did provide for you, maybe there's not all the feelings and all the things, but at least they gave you something that kept you going. If they didn't, you wouldn't be here today. And so it's very easy to look backwards and judge, but the bottom line is that if they cared for you, then you ought to be willing and able and prepared to return some kind of care for them as well.
That's the principle that's being taught here, to make some return to your parents. Incidentally, this is why Proverbs also warns parents against troubling their own household, because when you find yourself in need of help one day, and your children will not be there for you, you will very literally inherit the wind. And so there are warnings for parents not to trouble their own households, not to tear their households down.
And I think about this oftentimes. I heard a story recently, I don't think it's anybody that anybody knows here, but there was a situation where there was this older aging couple, and they had made the lives of their family members and their kids and everybody else around them absolutely miserable. They were people that were very difficult to live with, to the point when when they were aging out and needed help, they actually had to go and enlist the help of the neighbors to take care of their estate because their kids didn't want anything to do with them.
You don't want to put yourself in a position where you have to rely on strangers to care for you because you trouble your own household. So there's an inverse principle there as well. But this does not change the fact that children are responsible to provide care, especially for their widowed parents.
We are to honor our father and mother in general, but more specifically and more intensifiedly. Is that even a word? Intensifiedly? I just made it a word. There you go.
That's the blessing of preaching. You can make up words and people believe you. In a more serious way, you are to make a return for your widowed parents here.
And the Bible says, Paul says it here, this practice of making a return to your parents, a return to the widows in your own house, this is acceptable in the sight of God. God is pleased when you do this, even if it's difficult. In fact, it is always difficult.
I remember talking to a couple who had four senior parents who couldn't take care of themselves, and they had purchased a house, and all four of the parents, so the husband's two parents and the wife's two parents, all four lived in the house, and they cared for them for something like a decade. And one at a time, they took care of them until they passed away, and then they would just continue to care for their aging parents until all of them had passed on to glory. I remember talking to him.
It was a very difficult ministry, but that is how he saw it. It was his ministry to his aging parents and to her aging parents as well. This is acceptable.
Again, if it's difficult, regardless, God is pleased. The Scripture promises blessing for those who honor their aging parents. What if a widow does not have anyone to care for her? What if she is a true widow with no help whatsoever? Because that's the other idea here that we're talking about.
We're talking about someone who does not have not only children, but even grandchildren. No grandchildren to take care of her. Nobody to take care of her.
What do we do about them? That's where Paul goes next. Look at verse 5. He says, now, she who is a widow indeed. There's that phrase again.
That's the category we're talking about. She who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers day and night. And so Paul is further defining this classification, this true widow indeed, if you will.
And he says that this widow indeed, this genuine widow has been one who has been left alone. She's been left alone. This the Greek word for left alone refers to solitude and in some uses even forsaken.
There's a sense in which this woman has been forsaken. She's been left. She's without a husband.
She is without children. Now, either she didn't ever have children or those children have abandoned her and have chosen not to take care of her. But that's the kind of widow that Paul says the church is supposed to help.
In fact, these are the kinds of widows that the church was caring for in Acts chapter 6. When we call the first deacons in Acts 6, that was because there were widows in the church and in those days there was no social security. And so the church was literally providing food for all the widows. And there was a disagreement that arose in the church where some widows were being noticeably being treated better than other widows and there was a division.
And so the church calls a group of men to come and serve and lead the service of these widows. And we understand that that is really the prototype for the deacons of the church. This came out of the need to minister to widows.
And so these widows indeed, these genuine widows, true widows, they've been left alone. And there are conditions, however, for the church stepping in. It's not simply that they have been left alone, as we're going to see.
First, it says here that she must be a believer who hopes in God. Paul says that she has fixed her hope on God. She doesn't have a heart that wanders away.
It's fixed. She's trusting in God. That's the first characteristic here.
Secondly, that she's a devoted believer. It says that she is one who is continuing in entreaties and prayers. We saw this back in 1 Timothy chapter 2, talking about prayer within the church.
But that's the sense is that she's not a wishy-washy believer who kind of comes and goes and we just sometimes we'll see her, sometimes we won't see her. We don't know where she is. She only comes to church as a last resort, only when it's convenient, only when it suits her.
And that happens in some situations. There are people who make a business and make time about going from church to church to church and trying to bleed the church dry, get what they can get, then move on to the next church. It's sad to say, but there are people who do this.
And I get asked all the time, well, how do we stop that from happening? Well, the bottom line is that apart from using your discernment, there's not much you can do. And I've often taken it just personally that if somebody really wants to, against all wisdom and all discernment that we can exercise, we evaluate every situation as best as possible, the deacons work hard to make sure it's a real need. If somebody really wants to be that conniving to pilfer from the church, good luck with the Lord.
I mean, at a certain point when we've done everything we possibly can to be wise, and they are determined to steal from the church, they're stealing from God's people. They have to deal with him at a certain point. That doesn't change our responsibility.
Our responsibility is to help people. We do engage in benevolence and we try to be as helpful as we possibly can, again, with discernment. But that's not the situation with this woman.
No, she is a devoted prayer warrior. She's invested. That's the sense here.
Well, why the focus on prayer? You know, there's other things we're going to read about in the coming verses, but here specifically, when it talks about widows that we're supposed to be caring for and helping, why is there such a focus on continuing and entreaties and prayers? Well, to my mind, because I think from the text here, it's teaching us that this is, in many cases, the most effective ministry an aging woman can have. Because so many times, especially when you get to a certain age in your life, you find that there's not a ton you can do. The things that you used to do, you can't do them as much anymore.
And there are those who I've even been spoken to about this before, even in this church. I can't do much, but I can pray. Sister, pray.
We need prayer warriors. In fact, I'd rather have the prayers of an aging, seasoned, mature believer for this congregation. That's valuable.
That's a valuable ministry to this church. And so for those who are to the point where they don't have anything else to offer except their prayers, then dear sister, pray. You can go to the Lord with your entreaties and with your prayers.
Now, that doesn't mean that's your only ministry. Far from it. But any woman can serve the church well through prayer.
I think that's Paul's point. Any woman can go and make entreaties and petitions before the Lord on behalf of the saints of the body of Christ. Again, not just randomly that she does this.
It's not that, oh, if I think about it, maybe I'll do it. No, he says it when she prays. It's day and night.
In other words, continually. Continually. We see this from Anna in Luke 2.37. Some of you know the story of Anna in the temple there.
She was a faithful widow. She'd been widowed for seven years. She was 84 years old.
And it says here in Luke 2.37 that she stayed in the temple serving night and day with fastings and prayers. She committed herself. She lived either near the temple or resided there.
They took care of her as they were supposed to. And she responded to that care by devoting herself to prayer and fasting and entreaty. And she received the blessing we know from history of beholding the Lord when he was brought to the temple.
And so it is the faithful widow, the true widow, who is to receive honor and care from the church. And it is our honor to care for widows who are widows indeed. But there is another category of widow that Paul talks about here that the church is not required to care for.
Look at verse 6. He says, But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. This stands in stark contrast to the faithful widow of verse 5. You read verse 5 and verse 6, and boy, those two could not be farther from each other. But Paul here is describing a widow who gives herself over to wanton pleasure.
This Greek word that's used here is espatolao, and it's hard to really nail down the meaning of this word because we don't have it a lot in the ancient manuscripts, a lot of ancient literature. It does show up in the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament. Ezekiel 16, 49 refers to the women of Sodom who gave themselves over to careless ease.
That's how that's translated, careless ease. But James 5, 5 actually accuses those who are living in such a way. He says, You have lived luxuriously on the earth and led a life of wanton pleasure.
So, luxuriousness, wantonness. We don't use the word wanton as much anymore, but there is a sense in which this word is referring to riotous living, sinful, hedonistic lifestyle, where you're just living to feed the flesh. You live for yourself and you do whatever makes you feel good at the expense of everything else.
One Greek lexicon on this word explains it as referring to indulging beyond the bounds of propriety, living luxuriously and voluptuously. So, you're not just living well. There's nothing wrong with having enough and living in a way that's comfortable.
The Bible never says you're not supposed to live comfortably if you can, but this is going beyond the bounds of that to the point where you're riotous, sinfully, foolishly, hedonistically, voluptuously. Essentially, this is a woman who, after her husband dies, she throws herself into a casual or even a party lifestyle. She throws herself into sexual promiscuity.
She throws herself into exorbitant spending. It's as if when her husband left, when he died or when he abandoned her, the restraining influence of her headship of the covering is gone and now she only lives for herself and for pleasure. Paul says that a woman who does this is dead even while she lives.
That's a sobering sentence. In other words, her fleshly behavior demonstrates the reality of her spiritual deadness. One commentator, William Hendrickson, offers this characterization of this woman.
He says, she was never a real Christian, but she used to pay her respects to religion. She went to church and seemed to listen to the reading of the word. Her lips used to move in prayer and she was even emotionally stirred at times.
Today, however, all that belongs definitely to the past. She is dressed in her gayest attire and her purpose is to have fun and perhaps to make a good catch. It is not necessary, however, Paul adds, to honor such widows.
But this conveys a basic principle of life here. A person's true character shows in how they handle adverse circumstances. And that's just a general maxim across the board.
It's easy to look good when you get everything that you want, but how do you respond when you don't get what you want? That's the real test, isn't it? That goes in life, that goes in parenting and child raising, that goes in marriage, that goes in church membership. I've heard pastors say that there was a sentiment that was shared online one time when I read it, and it shocked me. And he says, the test in character of a true church member is how do they respond when they don't get what they want? Do they fold their arms and leave and say, that's it, I'm out of here? Well, then they were never here to begin with.
But when a person responds in godly character and submits themselves, that shows godly character. The same thing goes here. Again, in all avenues of Christian life, how do you respond when something bad happens to you? How do you respond when you get sick? How do you respond when the hot water heater breaks or when the car breaks down? How do you respond to adverse circumstances? Do you submit yourself to the Lord in godliness? Or do you throw a fit? Do you pout? Do you get angry? Do you curse the Lord? How do you respond? And that's the sense here, is that how this woman has responded when her husband dies reveals what's going on inside of her heart.
He dies and she just lives for herself. In truth, she was always for herself. She just had a restraining influence to stop her from doing such.
And so here's the situation. This woman's husband has died or he's left. Did she devote herself to godliness or did she indulge in flesh and debauchery? And so Paul, he speaks about the cautions and the conditions and he warns, verse 7, prescribe these things as well.
Here's the warning, so that they may be above reproach. Why say such hard things? Well, it's to correct the church, to keep us in a place where we're above reproach. Now these things are no doubt the truths, verses 3 through 6. He's talking about this whole teaching.
He's going to extend it beyond in verses 9 through 16. But that's these things. But then he gives the reason here again, so that we may be above reproach.
Now scholars have questioned, well who are the they? So that they may be above reproach. Who is he referring to? Is he talking about the widows? Or is he talking about those who are entrusted with caring for the widows? Well, I don't think they're mutually exclusive, frankly. I think Paul is commending both widows and the children and grandchildren of the widows who are charged with their care.
All of them must be above reproach. They must be blameless. In other words, we must handle this situation in the right way.
We must learn to be above reproach. Why? Why? Because it's important, it's essential that number one, God is honored and number two, that our Christian testimony is upheld. Of course, Paul has one more thing to say with regard to those who are charged with caring for widows.
Look at verse 8. Dealing with the issue of being above reproach, Paul says in verse 8, but if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Here, Paul addresses this general reference here, anyone. Now, specifically, he's talking about anyone who is responsible to be caring for somebody else.
That's the sense of it. And here, he asserts that there is a responsibility for anyone who has those in their life who they have to care for. There is a responsibility to provide for his own.
This word provide in the original language in the Greek is pronoeo, which refers to a thinking beforehand. A thinking beforehand. In other words, it's making a plan.
Do you ever think about life in the future beforehand? That's the sense of it. Are you making provision? Because there are those whose job it is to plan ahead for those who are in their own care. Well, who constitutes his own? That's a big question.
Well, again, essentially, it's whoever is entrusted to your care. There is always a sense in which there are those who have a big heart, and they feel like there's everybody around them has to be in their care. Ever meet a person like that? Where it doesn't matter who the situation.
Oh, my uncle's having a hard time. I'm going to go help him. Oh, my best friend and my best friend's uncle.
And you know, everybody within your sphere of influence, you feel this personal responsibility to care for. Now, I'm going to say that's commendable, but it's impossible. It's commendable.
It really is when you have a big heart and you want to love everybody. But I will say, though, it's great to want to love everybody else. But are you focused on caring for those who are your own? Well, what is that own situation here? That may be a mother.
That may be a father, a grandparent, an elderly relative, someone that maybe you've pledged your care for. I've known situations where an aging person doesn't have children. They couldn't have children.
Their spouse dies, and then a nephew comes in and takes care of them and brings them in as their own. And they have pledged their care. That's their own household now to care for that person.
But Paul is emphasizing further here. He says, especially for those of his household, especially. Even if you pledged care for other people, those who are in your own household, they require, it's mandated that you provide for them.
So now we're talking about immediate family here. And Paul warns, he says, if anyone does not provide for his own, again, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. These are, again, very strong statements here.
Paul is not letting up on the strong statements this morning, is he? These are hard to hear, but they're important for us to hear. Two very strong statements. First, he says here, to shirk your responsibilities to care for your own family.
In context here, it's a shirk their responsibility is to functionally deny the core tenets of Christianity. Now, what he's not saying is that the negligence of caring for your family equates to the loss of eternal salvation. He's not saying that because we know that from the rest of scripture here that we are justified by faith alone apart from works of the law.
And so if you're in Christ, if you belong to Jesus Christ as a Christian, if he has saved you and redeemed you, then you are saved and redeemed regardless of anything you could add to that. It is by faith alone. So he's not saying that if you fail to do a good job loving your family, that somehow you're not going to go to heaven when you die.
That is not the sentiment. But what he is saying is that you are functionally denying the thing that you say you believe. You've denied the faith.
He's saying you've taken Jesus's command to love one another and you've thrown it out the window. And now people who look at you, they will not see any evidence that you believe. Now, you might believe, but there's no evidence that you do now.
If you refuse to care for your family in need, you have denied the Christian faith. But also, he says, you render yourself to be worse than an unbeliever. What does that mean? How could you be worse than an unbeliever? What is that? Well, here's the thing.
Even non-Christians, even atheists have a general sense of obligation to care for their family. And so when an unbeliever takes better care of their needy family members than Christians, it is a judgment on those who profess Christ and yet shirk their responsibility. You see that? When unbelievers do a better job at loving one another than we do, then we deem ourselves to be worse, lesser, negligent in comparison to those who don't believe.
And that's shameful. If anything, Christians should be setting the standard for how they care for their family members. We ought to do it the best.
It doesn't mean we have the most money, doesn't mean we have the best ability, but we ought to strive the most, the hardest, be the most diligent. We should be putting the world to shame when it comes to care and not the other way around. But I could even have another application here.
Again, the context here is widows. The context is widows here. Paul is addressing people in the church who are charged with caring for widows after the husband dies.
But let me ask you another question. What about the husband's responsibility to his wife before he dies? Ever think about that? Because that factors into this as well. Statistically, women live longer than men.
There are far more widowed women than widower men. Far more. And so my question then, my charge, my exhortation as men, are you loving your wife by making provision for her now while you're still here? Or are you just assuming that someone else is going to take care of your wife once you die? There was a story, I remember this happened to me years ago.
Before pastoral ministry, I used to work in financial services, and part of my responsibility was to deal with investments and with insurance. And life insurance was a big part of my business. And so I remember there was two clients that I had, and I was called to their house, and we were going to talk about life insurance for both the husband and the wife.
And the wife went first, and she didn't make very much money, but she says, I want to make sure that I have a policy in place so that if I die prematurely, that my husband has something because of the value I provide for the family, and so my daughter has something as well. And so we drew up a policy for her, and she was very happy about that. She felt very confident.
And then I turned to the husband. Now the husband ran a pretty good-sized business, and he made a lot of money. However, his business was leveraged to the hilt, to the point where if something ever happened to him, it would be chaos.
And when it came time to talk to him about providing a policy for his wife, which was actually going to be the larger policy, he says, I don't want to do that. Now you could say what you want about the necessity of life insurance, but that wasn't the situation here. And the wife turned and said to him, what do you mean you don't want to do it? She said, that's the whole reason he's here.
And he says, no, I don't want to do it. And she looked, I'll never forget this. She looked at him and she said, let me get this right.
If something happens to you, I'm toast. I'm done for. And he started laughing.
He's like, well, sure. And she said, and you don't want to provide for me? And he just laughed nervously. And she was so angry and hurt.
And I just stood there thinking, I'm not counseling this marriage. I'm not going to touch this with a 10-foot pole. And I just kind of sheepishly took a step back.
But I watched this, the brokenheartedness of this woman. What do you mean you're not going to provide for me? If you die, I have nothing, zero. And so right then and there, she grabbed her policy.
She's crossed out his name and she named her daughter as a sole beneficiary of her policy. And I left. It's a sad reality.
Now again, I'm not talking about leaving your wife with millions. That's not what I'm talking about. But a Christian man is responsible to love his wife the way Christ loves the church.
I feel like I quote this verse every week, no matter what context I'm in. I'm always quoting this verse because it's so important. How did Christ love his church? By sacrificing, by giving himself up for us.
That includes in this context here for the husbands, material and financial care. Again, you do not have to leave your wife a millionaire. But you ought not to leave her in the poor house because you neglected to plan.
I understand and the Lord understands that situations happen if you don't have much and you pass away prematurely and they're struggling afterwards. Again, that's where the family, that's where the church comes in. But if you refuse to provide, shame, shame.
If a man does not provide for his own household, if he will not provide for his own wife, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Remember Psalm 68, 5, God is the father of the fatherless and a judge for the widow. God will take up the offense of those who have been neglected.
And so therefore, let us honor those whom God honors and commends honor to. I want to close this morning with a scene from the cross. If you would turn over with me to John, chapter 19 here.
John 19. This is a very famous portion of scripture. We've all read it probably many, many times.
I preached through it when I preached on John 19 years ago. We know here that in the situation where the Lord is on the cross, the Lord Jesus was born to the Virgin Mary. She, along with Jesus's adoptive father, Joseph, raised him along with his brothers and sisters.
But at some point in history, we believe that Joseph passed away and left his wife widowed. And with Joseph gone, Jesus, the firstborn son, would have been charged with the care of his mother, which we know he took seriously. But now we have the situation in John 19.
Jesus is nailed to the cross. He's dying to pay the penalty for sin. And verse 25 tells us that his mother, Mary, was standing by the cross watching her firstborn son give his life.
And then we read about this in verse 26 and 27. John 19, 26 and 27. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple who he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son.
And he said to the disciple, Behold your mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her into his own household. Here we see that Jesus is entrusting the care of his mother.
He refers to her as woman. It's not the way that we think about the word woman. It's not a disregarding, generic statement.
It's more like lady. It's a term of respect and honor. He refers to her as lady, woman, his mother, and he entrusts his mother to the disciple that he loved.
And we know that that is John's title for himself. Now, it would be John's responsibility given to him by Jesus to care for Mary for the rest of her life. And history records that John actually did do this.
He took Mary into his house and he cared for her. And according to church tradition, he stayed in Jerusalem with her for, in some estimates, up to 12 years and other estimates up to over 30 years. We don't know the exact number, but regardless, it was a long time.
And John cared for Mary and he took care of her and he loved her in the place of her firstborn son until she passed. And so even in Jesus's greatest hour of suffering, he manifested a heart of compassion toward his own mother, who was herself a widow. He loved her even in his final breath.
Would that we would maintain the same compassion for those who are in the greatest need. That is our challenge. It is also our honor.
Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you. We thank you for your word and Lord, these verses, admittedly, they cut hard.
I mean, they cut deep. These are challenging things or because these are real situations. And the care, Lord, here is not just a simple prayer, a few dollars to help, a word of encouragement.
Lord, you're entrusting the life and the care and the livelihood of one life to another person, Lord. And Father, we know that there are situations because of the curse of the fall where death is prevalent, where sickness takes people away, Lord, that there are those who are left behind. And Lord, you have not abandoned them, even if they have been abandoned, but you have not abandoned them.
You've left them in the care of those who can love them. And so, Father, we want to entreat you to help us to have a sensitivity here, Lord. That for those of us who are in a position where they do have aging parents who are going to come to a place in their life where they're going to need care, Lord, would you have mercy on us and help us to take that responsibility seriously, Lord? Lord, for those who have spouses and families and they're in a position where they are providing now, would you, Lord, impress on their hearts the mandate, the responsibility to do that job well, to do everything they can to care for their family, to care for their wives, for their spouses, Lord.
And Lord, for those who have been widowed or for those who will soon be widowed. Lord, I pray that you would not only have mercy on them, that you would bring them your comfort in good time when they need it. But Lord, that you would help them to entrust their hearts, to entrust their lives to you, to fix their hope on you, not to turn to the flesh, but to devote themselves to prayer and to godliness.
And Lord, that you would take up their defense, Lord, and provide care either through their family or through their churches, Lord. And in our case here, that we would care for them well. Lord, what a blessing, what an honor it is to care for those who are in need.
And Father, again, I ask, help us to do that well. Help us, O Lord, to have compassion on others. Why? Because you, O Lord, have had compassion on us.
You cared for us when there was no one to care for us. As the Old Testament imagery says, you saw us dying in a field, struggling in our blood, and you walked up and you said, live. And you rescued us, O Lord.
And you made us alive together with Christ. And you've seated us in the heavenly places in Christ. And you've blessed us with an inheritance.
And you have become a father to the fatherless. And Scripture even says that you, like a mother hen, have gathered us like little chicks under her wings, Lord, and you have cared for us. And so, Lord, if you have cared so well for us, let us, O Lord, please care for others who are in need.
Lord, help us and have mercy and be gracious to us, we pray. In Jesus' name, amen.